The Giraffe Rules

I was working a shift at the zoo today. People amaze me. Seriously.

We have a sign that lists the rules when feeding the giraffes. Among the rules, don't pet the giraffes, don't stick your hand through the fence, don't feed the giraffes anything but the crackers you purchase, etc. It never fails that each of these rules get broken many times. But there is one thing we didn't think needed added to the list: Don't grab the giraffe's tongue. After today, I think we'll have to add that to the list.

Why would a grown man grab and hold a giraffe's tongue? What could possibly be going through this man's mind? Here he is feeding giraffes with his children and he makes the decision that it would be fun to hang on to the tongue? People like that make me very mad.

I didn't see this incident at the zoo today, because at that time, I was monitoring another giraffe and the people feeding it. But mind you, if I had been monitoring that giraffe, he would have been schooled. And possible thrown out.

Not cool.

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Conversely, I got the pleasure of helping a boy with autism feed a giraffe today. He was soooo excited and happy when the giraffe took the cracker. His father had an even bigger smile when he told me this is the happiest he'd seen him in a long time.

Very cool.

Mortified!

I just realized that I'm wearing the same sweater I wore on Monday! GAH! How did that happen?

I think I'm losing brain cells along with pounds.

The Good and the Bad

I am craving something really, really bad. I mean, I'm sitting here and my brain is reminding me what it tastes like and how wonderful it is and how I should get one. What am I craving? An Egg McMuffin.

So, the bad is...I'm craving it and it's a nasty craving. I get cravings to eat "real food" here and there and I can easily deal with them. But every so often I get these overwhelming cravings. They take over all of my thoughts and I fight to break free of the craving. In doing this I've found good things about the cravings. Yes, I said it. Good things.

1. Right now, the cravings are educational because they won't work on me. I won't eat it. I'm committed to this plan for 12 weeks. No food other than the prescribed formula for 12 weeks. No exceptions.
2. They're giving me a chance to learn how to deal with cravings in a "safe environment". By safe, I mean, I am NOT going to cheat, so it's time to explore the cravings and how to put them away.
3. It's been interesting to experience the cravings and what foods I am craving. I haven't craved a single sweet thing. I haven't craved any alcohol. Not once. I typically crave chicken, potatoes, asparagus, sushi, or eggs. While previously I craved sushi, I didn't particularly crave any of the others.

So you're probably wondering about the exploring and putting them away part. Or maybe you aren't. I don't care, I'm going to write about it anyway.

I've tried various techniques. I've tried distraction (kind of what I'm doing right now by writing about this). I've also tried letting the craving in and really remembering the food and how it tastes. Then I tell myself that if I know what it tastes like and can remember the experience...I don't truly need to eat it. (Yeah this one doesn't really work so well.)

Another tactic I've used is to try to replace the craving with wanting another food. The trick is that it has to be something I know I can't get my hands on. (I'm hoping to use this someday when I'm back to the real stuff.) I'm hoping to focus my mind on that other food and also think about why I'm wanting that particular item. Am I craving protein? Am I craving sugar? Why? Does my body need protein? Or did I just experience something that's making me want to eat to deal with the feelings rather than address them?

So far this has been a good experience. I'm really not hungry very often (and if I am it means it's likely time for one of my shakes). I have normal energy levels. I've lost a good chunk of weight so far too (15 lbs in 4 weeks). But I really like that I have the time to figure out the mental side of my weight problem. That's going to be the key to my success. I know what I should eat and how much. I know that I should exercise and how much. The part I've needed to work most on is the mental part: Why do I overeat; why do I make bad choices; how do I re-wire my brain? I know the process with this doesn't end after 12 weeks and I'm up to the challenge because if I can pass up "real" food for 12 weeks, I can do just about anything.

:)

My Disney Moment

This morning I set forth on yet another early morning walk. (Two in a row?) The day was just starting and there was a faint bit of morning fog off in the distance as I set out. I walked happily(ish) along looking at the pretty homes and thinking whatever it is that I think about when walking.

Then before me sat what I call Mt. Welker and I started my ascent. (OK...it's not a mountain but to my body in it's state of extreme atrophy and being so damned early thinks it's a mountain.)

Now where was I? Oh yeah...I was ascending Mt. Welker. So I trudged my way to the top of the glorious cement mountain growing more and more winded with each step (it really is kinda steep). Once I reached the summit I realized I wasn't alone. There, not 20 feet away were three deer in someone's lawn. They were all looking at me. Staring at me. I stopped and stared back. (It's really quite awesome to be so close to deer like that when you're not riding in a fast moving vehicle.) I kept expecting them to dart off toward the underbrush (it's a very woodsy area), but they didn't. They just kept watching me. I even called out to them to see if it would startle them, but no. They just kept staring. I really kind of felt like I was in some sort of Disney movie where the wildlife were all around in harmony with the lead character (I know I'm no Cinderella or Snow White). And for a brief moment this morning even though my legs were aching and I was panting for more oxygen, I was really glad I got up at 5:30 a.m.

I'm Still Here *waves*

Wow...I haven't posted in a while! I wish I had a good reason. Busy? Kind of. I think it's mostly just preoccupation with other things. Though work has been busier than normal and I tend to write these at work.

So what have I been preoccupied with? Not eating. My mind is at war with me daily about the fact that I'm not eating "regular food". I know I'm doing something good for my body, so in the end it's worth it to do it this way (no matter what other people who think).

Yesterday I had my annual girly exam. Fun stuff. And I found out that they like women to do baseline mammograms at 35. What?! Since when? I thought I had 5 years before I had to start getting my boobs flattened. GAH! Freaking out! And of course right after they told me that, they took my blood pressure. Duh!

Anyway...my doctor was pleased with my efforts to lose weight. She thought it was a great idea that I had joined the Optifast program and looked forward to seeing the results I got.

So this week I have to start getting the exercise in more. They like people to wait for a few weeks so the body has time to adjust. Last night I decided to head out for a walk after work. I found a perfect street that was alternately hilly and flat, so I got a decent workout. The only problem was the mosquitoes (and the sun). As I was walking I thought that maybe trying this same route in the morning would be a better plan. I figured I could set the alarm for 30 minutes earlier and head out to beat the heat and enjoy the nice cool morning. The only problem is...I'm not particularly good at getting up early to work out. But last night I was CONVINCED I could do it today, so I set the alarm.

Then came 5:30 a.m. I woke up and stared at the clock and made my typical decision to shut if off and go back to sleep. But Cady had a different idea. She jumped up on me and meowed loudly (and repeatedly) in my ear. In jumping up, she landed on my arm, which happens to be pretty sore from a tetanus shot yesterday. At this point I figured I should get up as planned and, guess what? I did. I actually got up at 5:30 a.m. and went for a brisk walk. It's a MIRACLE! All thanks to that annoying little gray ball of fur that is my secondary alarm clock.

Oh...and why do tetanus shots make your arm so freaking sore?

Wii Weight

I haven't used my Wii much this past week. But today I decided to play a few rounds of golf and bowl a little. Then I figured I should finally set up my Wii Fit.

It's very cool. I had to set up my avatar (aka Mii) with Fit by inputting some stats like birthday and height and it weighed me to give me a BMI. However, it weighed me about 10 lbs light (I stepped on it a few times to check). One more reason to love my Wii. :)

After that I tested out some of the balance games, running, and even yoga. I think I'm really going to like this thing. I may even do some activity daily. Shocking!

Antidisestablishmentarianism

This is my favorite commercial right now. And it's not because I want ice cream.

Hodge Podge Day

Here's a few (random) thoughts for Friday.

...

I had the day off today and so I decided to go see the "Sex and the City" movie. I highly recommend it. If you're a fan of the show, you will enjoy it. I laughed and cried. I was also carded. I was actually carded to get into the movie. The woman asked me to see some ID and I kind of stared at her, stunned. I said, "What?" She said again, "I need to see your ID, they're being strict." I laughed as I pulled out my ID and said, "OK...but I'm 35."

....

I lost 2.5 lbs this past week (so that's 9 lbs in two weeks). The doctor expects I'll lose between 3-5 lbs next week. Awesome.

But today I am really craving food. Really. I've been daydreaming about pizza, chicken, Mexican food, eggs, etc. There's really no rhyme or reason to what I'm craving. I'm just craving. I know I won't give in. I just wish the cravings would go away again. And I know they will.

...

I did Habitat for Humanity yesterday. I'm sore today. We were framing. Can you imagine me framing a house? Yeah, it's pretty hard to imagine, huh? But...I came away injury free. Tired as hell, but injury free.

...

I love thunderstorms. Truly, I do. But enough already. Seriously...no more late night/early morning severe weather!! Let's have some during the daylight hours for once.

...

Well, that's all for today. It's time for some soup.