The ultimate bad mood

I'm in a bad mood. I mean...really bad. I don't want to talk to anybody or do anything other than crawl back under the covers and avoid contact with every person on the planet. My black mood started yesterday afternoon and it hasn't seemed to do anything but get worse. I think "black mood" is actually putting it lightly.

I figured perhaps blogging will help me determine it's cause or at least allow me to explain any silence on my behalf of those who might read my blog.

At work, this is wearing on me. I have to feign interest, niceness, and general decency. I want to tell everybody to go to hell. I want to tell them to take this job and....well you know. I'm not going to be cliche or funny as that's not my will right now.

Things that contribute what I'm dwelling on to contribute to this mood? This job, my lack of a man in my life, my lack of children, my age, my fat, my laziness, my gluttony, my job, not hearing about the job I interviewed for, seeing everybody else happy, seeing people not happy, wishing I wasn't so selfish, wishing I wasn't wasting my life, wanting to do something, not knowing what to do, and so on.

For anybody thinking this might be due to a monthly hormone influx...it's not. It's just all kinds of stupid crap piling up and because I don't really do anything but just stew internally about all of it, it's becoming like a swath gloom enveloping my inner self.

Anyway...that being written....and me not feeling a bit better, I guess it's time to publish this. Hope I didn't pass this mood on. I just needed to put it out there.

(I purposely removed the ability to comment on this post. I don't want comments or sympathy or words of anything. I just wanted to "talk".)