A new level of failure (self imposed, that is)

I'm experiencing something new lately. It's a new sense of failure. And I know it dumb. I've always had the sense of failure. I didn't work out. I ate poorly. And through all this I knew better.

So now that I work out most every weekday morning and most weekends, I find that if I don't work out twice a day on weekdays, I think of that as a "failure". I know it's not...as before I never worked out even once a day. But I still feel it is if I don't have a reason to not hit the gym a second time.

Another area where I beat myself up is diet. If I eat 1400 calories in a day (or slightly more), I consider THAT a failure. WHAT?! I used to eat probably double that some days.

Recently I took a wellness test at work that said that if I was sedentary for a day, my base caloric need is 2155 calories. My BASE NEED. Clearly, 1500 calories is not bad. PLUS, I work out on average 45 minutes every day. Again, not bad. And my bodybugg tells me that I burn anywhere from 2400-2800 calories a day (depending on one or two workouts).

But it appears that no matter what I do...I think failure is lurking. I really need to analyze this more, but in the meantime...I'd better work out 2 hours tomorrow.

Blog o' Miscellany

Again...my apologies for anybody still checking to see if I posted anything. I am a bad blogger. I know. Things have been busy, but that's just a poor excuse.

Let's see...what's been happening...

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I've been working a LOT on a redesigned website for my company. It is scheduled to launch on Monday, and it APPEARS we are ready to launch it. But I'm still afraid something will derail that. So cross your fingers that the launch goes as planned.

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Similarly I recently launched a new site for my church. It took quite a few hours and many, many revisions, but I think I'm generally pretty proud of it. Check it out: Lutheran Church of Hope.

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On the bodybugg front, I'm still loving my new gadget and wear it all the time. It's great tool to see what a workout is doing for me and when I need to increase the intensity or length to get better results. Now...I just need to quit eating more at night due to the hunger from working out and all will be well.

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I've decided to put forth a challenge to myself for the next month. It's the "How Many Pounds Can I Lose in a Month Challenge." I think it speaks for itself, huh? I really want to just try to focus on this for a month and see if I can progress a little better. I'll try to update as I go...but you know my track record for posting lately.

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In other news, I'm going to be an aunt again. Can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl. For my sister's sake...I'll hope it's a boy. She doesn't want to go through another pregnancy due to the horrible morning sickness she has, and her husband really wants a son.

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Well, that's a lot of bits of unrelated info. Hope you enjoyed. If you didn't, go read Dooce or Roni's Weigh. They're both much more entertaining/informative than I am.

I'm still here...

I guess it's been a while, huh? I really felt like I'd blogged just last week. And well, I haven't.

Anyway...I promise to write more detail. But...for now....

Babysitting went well. Exhausting, but well.

Bodybugg rocks! It's so cool to know how many calories I burn on the elliptical (8 cal./min) vs. running (14 cal./min) vs. sitting on the couch (1.7 cal./min).

Really, I'll try to update more. But for now...it's "Biggest Loser" time...and I need to watch. :) (while burning 1.7 calories per minute.)

Mornings suck

So for the first time since I started working out in the morning, I seriously considered turning off the alarm and going back to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling like I hadn't slept a wink. I blame all my colorful dreams and thus not truly getting into solid sleep.

I felt like a lead weight when I woke up. I rolled over and picked up my cellphone (my alarm clock of choice lately) and stared at it. Then I hit the "dismiss" button and got up. I trudged unhappily toward the bathroom (making sure not to step on a wayward cat) and turned on the light and got ready for the gym. The whole time my inner voice was arguing that I really should just take a day off and sleep. On my way to the stairs I looked back at the bed and the good cat was all curled up in her little cat bed. I think she was mocking me as I saw a distinct smile on her face.

Anyway. I continued down the stairs with my inner voice still begging to go back to bed. And that darn voice didn't stop until after I was inside the gym. I distinctly recall as I stepped out of my car, "It's not too late, you can still go home and sleep more." Stupid voice.

Luckily I'm in the routine of going to the gym or this morning might not have ended up with me at the gym. I'm hoping tomorrow will be easier as it's my last 5 a.m. alarm of the week.

I won't have to get up so awfully early on Friday because I'm taking care of my sister's kids so she can go on vacation with her husband. I'm the first of three shifts to take care of the little scamps. I get to take the brunt of the first night my 18-month-old niece has ever spent away from her mom. Lucky me (and my other sister who is coincidentally going to be staying overnight with her family). I'd appreciate any prayers.

OK. It'll actually be fun. I just have to make it past Saturday morning when she wakes up to find mommy still isn't home yet. See...mornings suck.

Another tool for the techy

I just ordered a new "techy toy" online. I ordered a bodybugg. I've been wanting one for some time and keep going back and forth on whether I should spend the money. (For those unfamiliar with the product, it is a device you wear on your arm that calculates your calories burned during the day. Then there's a nifty computer program where you enter your food intake and see where you end up and what you need to correct).

So, today a coworker was wearing one, and I jabbered her ear off about whether it works and how she likes it and bla bla bla. She raved over it, so I decided to just fork over the cash. Hopefully this help get me a little further in my quest to get the rest of this weight off. Maybe a constant digital reminder will give me that extra nudge.

I'll let you know more when I get it. Can't wait!

Just like my life...

Cats are cruel... :)

Bad excuses and lame justifications

A coworker of mine who has been attempting to give up smoking just told me: "I've temporarily taken up smoking again today so I can go outside and enjoy the nice weather."

So I responded with a laugh, "Well you COULD just go outside for a walk instead of smoking."

She laughed and said, "But I can't justify going out so many times for a walk. Only smoking gives me that."

Seriously, that's what she said.